Announcing Zoey Bree

Zoey Bree

September 12, 2011

5:55 p.m.

6 lbs. 9 oz.

19.5 inches long

Thanking God for miracles

(and epidurals)

Zoey the Mobster

Dear Mom and Dad,

In about 27 days you’ll get to see my cute little face. I just wanted to let you know that it will be red, and it will be wrinkled, and it will probably resemble that of a miniature mob-boss.

Which for the next oh… three years or so… I plan to use to my advantage.

So here’s how it’s gonna be: Everything’s on my schedule. You’ll ignore my demands like Cousin Vinny ignores the threat of sleeping with the fish. And speaking of sleep, there will be none of it.

Same goes for food. Mom, I think you got plenty of it during the past nine months by the looks of things. And besides, that whole eating thing – it takes your attention from the orders I’m trying to give.

I think that’s about it for now. We can establish Family priorities more when I get there. While you’re waiting for the blessed day, why don’t you take a nice vacation to the beach and relax while I pulverize your ribs a few more times.

Much Love,

Zoey the Mobster